


It's Quiet Uptown

by seemeeimbeebee



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Captain Cobra - Freeform, Gen, Grief/Mourning, mentions outlaw queen & snowing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:41:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6583618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seemeeimbeebee/pseuds/seemeeimbeebee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“'There has to be another way!' Henry insisted weakly, looking up at her. She brushed a tear away with her thumb and his hands tightened in her jacket. 'I’m not going home without you. You’re not supposed to leave me.'"</p><p>Hades forces Killian to choose between Henry's life and Emma's life. Killian and Emma choose Henry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Quiet Uptown

**Author's Note:**

> There was a post floating around that asked whether Killian would pick between Henry and Emma and it was pretty clear that they Killian and Emma would pick Henry every time. And then THIS happened. Also don’t listen to the song from Hamilton while you’re reading this unless you want to cry more.

“I need to--” The words stuck to Killian’s throat and he pressed his forehead to hers. Hades was waiting, watching them and something curled in Killian’s stomach. 

“I know. I know,” she whispered, cupping his face in her hands. Her hand gently traced his cheek. “Make sure he does his math homework. He’ll always try to get out of it.” Emma tried so damn hard to stop the catch in her throat. “You have to let me go.”

“It’s not fair,” Killian replied. “You came down here to save me.”

“And I did. And that’s enough for me.”

He had to bite back the, “But that’s not enough for me.” She saw it in his eyes, and reached out to stroke his cheek, to try and tell him it was okay. It wasn’t, but damn it, she would try.

Henry’s sob broke the lovers away from another.

“Mom, please don’t--” the boy started, but Emma wrapped her arms around him. “Please don’t...” he tried again, burying her face in his shoulder. “I _found_ you,” Henry insisted tearfully. 

“It’s okay, kid,” Emma whispered, chest stuttering in the effort to hold back her tears. “I love you. I love you, okay? I love you so much. It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay. Regina and Robin and Killian and my parents...everyone loves you so much. You will never be alone again, okay?” She made a poor showing of trying to hide her tears from Henry.  “I love you. I wish I could tell you that enough times so that you’d remember for the rest of your life that I love you so much.” 

“There has to be another way!” Henry insisted weakly, looking up at her. She brushed a tear away with her thumb and his hands tightened in her jacket. “I’m not going home without you. You’re not supposed to leave me.” 

Emma tightened her arms around her son, cupping the back of his head with her hand and he nestled in closer. His knuckles were white, like he could keep her there with them as long as he didn’t let go. 

* * *

 

“Leave me alone!” Henry screamed at all of them, standing at the top of the stairs.”I don’t want to talk about it, not to any of you and especially not _you_!” His glare was all but murderous as he looked at Killlian.  “He killed her!” the boy yelled at him. “And you all let it happen!”

The boy slammed the door and Killian’s heart broke when he heard the boy start to sob. He got up and started to head for the Jolly. They were home now, back in regular Storybrooke. But at what cost?

Emma was gone. 

His _family_ was gone.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now,” Regina said quietly, stepping in front of the door. Her lips were pressed together in a thin line. “We’ll get through this together, somehow.” 

“I should go,” Killian mumbled, his head hung low. “The lad’s right. I...it’s my fault. I shouldn’t be here.”

“Don’t,” Snow White said quietly voice trembling. Neal was clutched to her chest, and she’d barely let him out of her arms since they got back. “She wouldn’t want that.”

“Well she’s not bloody well here to tell us so!” Killian shot back. “And that’s my fault!” He choked down the sob that was threatening to overwhelm him. “Please just let me be on my own for awhile. Please.”

“Will you come back?” Regina said in a soft voice. Unspoken was, “We’d like you to come back.”

“Aye,” Killian said quietly. “I’ll come back...when I can.” He wasn’t sure that he could be in the space that held so many reminders of her. 

Her scarf carelessly thrown over the sofa. The keys to the bug on the table. Her shoes haphazardly lined up by the door. The baby blanket with her name sewn onto it in the closet.

He closed the door and kept walking away. He wasn’t sure he could come back.

* * *

If any of them had been paying attention, they would’ve seen Henry at the top of the stairs, prepared to stop Killian and get him to stay. Once it was clear Killian was coming back, Henry turned around and head for his room.

He stopped just short of the door. He found he couldn’t bring himself to go inside.

He walked into his mother’s room instead and curled up on the bedspread. In his line of vision was his mother’s open closet, the baby blanket. He walked over to pick it up and buried his face in the wool.

“I miss you,” he whispered, wishing he could feel something other than the ever growing emptiness in his chest. “I miss you so much. I still think you’re gonna walk through the loft door. I’d give anything for you to come back, Mom. It’s...it’s so empty without you around.”

He brought the blanket back with him to the bed. He curled up on the bed, holding it tightly to his chest as he lay there. Henry wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but a gentle hand on his shoulder woke him up. “Wake up, sweetheart,” the voice whispered. “It’s time to eat something, okay?”

“Mom?” Henry croaked out hopefully, his eyes fluttering open. His heart broke when it was Regina and he rolled away from her. 

She squeezed his shoulder gently. “Do you want to me to stay up here with you?” 

”No,” Henry said in a hollow voice.

Regina pursed her lips together, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Henry, I...she...”  She squeezed his shoulder again. “She doesn’t blame you. She would never. She made the choice for you. Everything we ever do...it’s always for you.”

Henry curled in tighter on himself, tightening his hands around the baby blanket. “Doesn’t make me feel better,” he muttered.  Regina leaned in to kiss the top of his head, and he covered it, because Emma did right before she died. 

“Why’d she have to die?” he whimpered, and he felt his mother gathering him into her arms.

But the hug felt so wrong without Emma’s arms on the other side that he pushed Regina away.

* * *

David took the role of sheriff of Storybrooke, putting in a newspaper posting for deputy sheriff. 

Neal learned to walk on his own, as Snow folded Emma’s scarf and put it away. Sometimes, the baby boy stared off past his mother, knowing without knowing that something--someone--was missing from their home.

Robin, Zelena and Regina decided together on the baby’s name: Sophia Emma Hood. 

Belle gave birth to a girl: Cassidy Gold. 

Rumplestiltskin vowed to be a better father to his daughter than he had been to Baelfire. 

Everyone wondered if he could live up to that claim.

Killian sold the blue house, the promise of a happy ending doing nothing more than taunting him about all the things he couldn’t have now that Emma was gone. He spent most of his day out at sea because even the town now held too many reminders of her. He had tried to go to Granny’s, and the smell of onion rings at the table next to his had him bolting. He hadn’t been back to the loft yet.

Henry stopped talking, overcome with the loss at his mother. He couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth in fear of what would come out. He wasn’t going to lose someone else in his life.

He didn’t write either, knowing the temptation to bring his mother back would be all too overwhelming. So Regina locked the quill away with an enchantment designed to keep Henry out.

Neither Henry nor Killian went to visit Mr. Gold’s daughter, both resentful at the man who’d made a deal with Hades and gotten everything he ever wanted in the end.

* * *

Regina planted a new apple tree in her back yard, laughing with a strange smile on her face as she told Robin about when Emma had torn down her old one with a chainsaw. 

Snow and Charming told their son every story they could think of about his big sister. Remembering her was painful some days, but mostly they’d laugh and speak of her with complete and utter adoration. 

Neal’s first word was “Emma”. 

Killian had a swan’s feather tattooed across his chest. He smiled a little when he saw it for the first time in the mirror and then he felt a chasm opening up in his chest, wishing more than anything she was there by his side and with her family. 

Later that week, he had dinner with Regina and Robin at Granny’s. He ordered a grilled cheese and tomato soup, and told them about the first time Emma had forced him to try her favorite food. 

Henry refused to join them.

He still hadn’t spoken. They urged them--the whole fricking town urged him--to talk about her and he would feel better. Henry just stayed mute, not making eye contact with anyone, feeling like the world would swallow him whole if he tried to talk about her. He could hear his grandparents and Regina worrying about him at night when they thought he was asleep.

He couldn’t even call Regina “Mom” in his head, because it just reminded him that Regina was the only Mom he had now.

* * *

“We can’t find Henry. He’s supposed to be at school and he isn’t,” Regina said as soon as Killian picked up the phone. “Locator spells aren’t working, no one’s seen him and we checked all the usual places: Granny’s, the Troll Bridge, the cemetery...he’s not at any of them.” He could hear her frantically calling out to others to try new places where Henry could be.

“He’s not at the docks from what I can see,” Killian said quietly, looking through his spyglass. “But I’ll look for him.”

“Thank you,” Regina said, letting out a hard exhale. “I just...I just can’t help but feel like Emma would know where to look for him.”

“It would be a great help to have her here,” Killian agreed with a ragged sigh. They’re both quiet for a moment, and then he added, “We’ll find him. He’ll make it home safe.”

“I’m going to go back out and look for him,” Regina said softly. “Bye, Killian.”

Killian hung up the phone, staring at the device in his hand. The boy hadn’t spoken to him in months. Still, a protective urge roared to life in his chest, a spark of intense feeling that he hadn’t experienced since Emma died. His fingers brushed against the top of the tattoo. “I’ll find him, Emma,” he promised.

He started along the coastline, looking fervently for the outline of the boy. Finally, after walking for about a mile, he found the boy staring out over the water in a churned up patch of sand. Henry was sitting, his knees tucked into his chest.

Killian could only guess that some structure had existed there but had since been torn down, based on the grass that had sprung up there. 

He started to approach the boy, at a complete loss for what to say, not expecting the boy to even speak to him.

It shocked him when Henry spoke first.

* * *

“My castle used to be here,” Henry said quietly, not looking back at his mother’s boyfriend. “I had this...wooden playground. Regina tore it down because...I don’t even know why. It was unsafe or something.” He let out a noise that could’ve been a laugh.

“Emma told me why she gave me up here,” he explained, still looking out over the water. “It was the first time we really... _connected_. And for me...she wasn’t just Emma anymore. She was my _mom_ , because she’d done what all mothers do: put me first.” His voice caught and he clenched his jaw tightly to stop the tears. “She always did. She loved me before she knew she could.”

Kilian smiled thinly, coming over to sit beside the boy. “Aye,” he agreed quietly. “That was Emma. She...she wasn’t sure she could love or be loved. But she loved. So much.”

“I miss her so much,” Henry whispered, his voice choked up. Tears began pouring down his cheeks and he let out a gasping breath. “We were supposed to be a family, all of us, and now she’s _gone_. It’s not fair.” 

Killian pulled the boy to his chest, tears running down his own cheeks. With a  wild sob, Henry buried his face in Killian’s chest.

“I don’t understand,” the boy cried, his voice muffled by Killian’s jacket. “I want my Mom! I just want my Mom back! I don’t care about anything else, I just want her back!” His body shook with the force of his cries, curling up to make himself small, like the boy Killian had laid eyes on when he first got to Storybrooke.

“I’m sorry,” Killian whispered, rubbing the boy’s back. “I want her back, more than anything, lad. It’s...so empty without her here. And I see her everywhere and in everything that some days I can barely breathe for it.” He sniffled, trying to get to a place where he could talk without choking up. “Wherever she is...I truly believe she’s okay. And we will be too.”

“How?” Henry asked miserably.

“One step at a time,” Killian said gently. “Let’s start by getting you home to your mother.” 

And so he walked Henry home, one arm draped over the boy’s shoulder, and Henry’s head leaning gently against Killian’s shoulder.


End file.
